Thursday, January 29, 2009

January's Journal - Day 28 and 29

I can't express enough how very much I appreciate all of the messages and words of encouragement and prayers that I have received here. Bobbie appreciates them too. It has been a whirl wind of activity these past days. My son-in-law is exhausted. My daughter has memories of some of it and none of others. She forgets a morning event by the afternoon yet remembers it the next day. I feel like I'm walking through a fog, a cloudy veil over my head. I can only imagine how she must feel, the fear, the uncertainty, the wonder. Family has been called, e-mailed, notified. Friends have been called. Her sister....she called her sister and actually got her on the first try. My youngest has trials in her own life. She and my son-in=law are laid off from work as of Jan. 31st with severance pay until March 15th. She called me yesterday to tell me she spoke to sis and got her to laugh. That's my little one, always looking to the positive, to the bright side of things. I had forgotten that Bobbie fell from a 3 story window when she was 17 and survived that. Her sister told her "hey if you can live through a 3 story fall you can live through this. I knew it was best for her to call her sister herself. I'm glad I insisted on it.
So far the meds have been switched again to alleviate vomiting, a prescription reaction to a pain med, and they added prednisone to alleviate inflammation from the bump on her noggin. They still have not told my grand daughter what all is going on. I don't know if they just can't bring themselves to tell her or if they feel it is best to not tell her yet. The Dr. office called and told them the MRI confirms what the E.R. doctor found. So now we wait until the neurosurgeon appointment on Feb. 19th. It seems like a lifetime away, that date. So far off. I want it to be now, they want it to be now, but we must wait. The neurosurgeons are booked we are told. So we wait and pray and hug a lot..............

Please continue to keep Bobbie in your prayers and thank you all so very much for the words of encouragement. They mean so much to me, to us.

This journal page is a collage of how I feel, in a daze, in a fog, a cloudy veil over me. It will lift, it must lift. I do not know what name this emotion I am feeling would have, what label. It took three tries at finishing this collage.

She is in HIS hands, I'm sure of this. The fall was a blessing.........., there is a reason for her madness. She's not faking, she's not being lazy, or ridiculous, she's changing, her personality is so different from what it was a week ago, amonth ago, 3 months ago and I want my daughter back. He wants his wife back. She'll be ok, she has to be, we need more time to finish and do and love. She'll be ok...........

Tess

10 comments:

Anne said...

Hi, Tess! What a moving journal piece. I can see how it reflects your current mood. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts! Hang in there! :-)

Jamie said...

Oh Tess. I don't know what to say, but please know that you and Bobbie and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. The fall was a blessing because now she can get the help she needs. Your collage is such a wonderful way to sort out your feelings. Hang in there sweetie. Love, Jamie

jgr said...

HI Tess,
I am so sorry to hear about Bobbie. Yes! she and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care
--Jane

Lorelei said...

I am thinking about you and your family! I wish you all the best.

Martha Lever said...

I will keep checking your blog often for updates--and everytime I do I will pray for your daughter.

Your journal page is wonderful. I love the way you have added the overlay of "fog".

Kims Art said...

moveliI came to your blog to thank you for stopping by mine, only to find out you are going through this terrible nightmare. I believe the power of prayer is our most valuable tool. I took your daughters name and wrote it down on a piece of paper and I will carry it with me and pray for her. Keep us posted!

lori vliegen said...

thanks, tess, for the update. i continue to keep all of you in my prayers. i'm glad that you have your journaling as an outlet for all of these emotions that you're going through. i think that you've expressed your feeling of being in a fog brilliantly.

Tess said...

Thank you so very much. Time on this computer is like a time away from reality and yet your kind words make me realize we are not in this alone. Thank you so much.

turquoise cro said...

kEEping YOU and your daughter in my prayers+ your whole family Tess!(((((Tess)))))

aliceinparis said...

Gosh, what a rollercoaster ride. Best wishes for Bobbies health and I hope you can find some calm and peace amidst the worry.